Sometimes I feel so pathetic writing this but typing out my feelings helps me. We’ve all been through a lot of things in life be it happy or sad, good or bad, adventurous or lousy, romantic or miserable all in all everyones been there and gone through thick and thin. Writing down all this seems to be pointless but it does helps me out. So all I want if you ever read this is some words of advice.
Too much thinking does leads to being very unsatisfied in your life. These days i am really unhappy. Well I don’t have any reason if asked why. I tend to remain silent and sad there is no one or no reason who makes me sad but still i don’t know. They say happiness is a choice and its selfish to be unhappy because of no reason or if you have million of reason to remain happy.
Sometime I do feel so alone I don’t get why do I feel so. Its a kind of a sadness deeper than tears when you feel numb and you can barely breath. I just feel like escaping reality, escaping from people around me (i feel i don’t fit in here) Sometime I feel if I am a victim of drapetomania because i always have this urge of running away from everyone. I feel scared but I don’t want to because after i get the feeling of being scared I start giving up. Well i know i don’t deserve that kind of fearful mindset. I owe myself to be strong and happy but well I have those things which take us apart from being happy . 😦
The one thing that keep me moving is my mom and my friends. Well I am loved by them so there is no excuse for being pathetic anymore, that is how i see it at least. When friends the best one surrounds it does really helps. I guess the environment with friends just makes me reevaluate the situation and realize maybe it isn’t as bad as i think it is and thats the time suddenly I’m mature enough to not let small things get to me. ( well even if it might just last for a day, week or so) 🙂
Well getting to the point now I think I am fortunate to have what I have right now coz misery is there in everyones life. Every now and then I see more beggars in the street, homeless people, drug addicts getting sucidal thoughts, person with no certain life and so on. My heart just sinks to realize how many people are upset and haven’t yet found happiness. I know how rough some of your lives is and how hurt you are to be so. And everyone tells you ‘it gets better’ and truthfully it does, but those words probably slip right past you. All you need is just get it in your head that you are not alone.
When I see people around me being sad i see their insecurities too and that really breaks my heart. I just wish I could fix everyone but I cant ( its not like a crochet pattern mistake where you can undo your pattern and make it all right). Its unfortunate but no one can help you, you can only help yourself. So help yourself, set goals for yourself, build up confidence, value happiness and please do whatever it takes to help yourself be happy.